The Almost Widowers' Club
by Joon
Summary: So maybe Owen and Ianto had something else in common other than Torchwood. Spoilers for "Cyberwoman", "Dead Man Walking" and "Fragments."


Back when Owen could still drink, he'd gone out to a pub with Ianto

Back when Owen could still drink, he'd gone out to a pub with Ianto. Once.

It had less to do with them spending time outside of work together or making any attempts to be friends. Rather, Owen had a bad day at work and wanted to complain about it to someone without it becoming a security issue. Tosh and Gwen had already left, Jack had been the cause of Owen's bad day, and Ianto had been too polite to say no. Although an oath was made by the Welshman that should Owen get pissed or get into a brawl or vomit or pass out or do any combination of those things, he, Ianto, was not going to be responsible for clean up.

As nights went, it wasn't so terrible. Yes, Owen had gotten pissed. But the only real outcome of that event had been the doctor being too inebriated to stop himself before he told Ianto about Katie.

"Before I thought she had Alzheimer's," said Owen, staring into the half empty pint glass. There were four empty ones on their table, all with his name on it. "I knew I loved her, but…I hadn't thought about asking her to marry me. It was only after it seemed…right. Like, we had to do it now…while she could still remember she even had a boyfriend…fiancé."

"I'm sure you would have asked her eventually anyway," Ianto said, hearing the guilt in Owen's voice.

"Yeah, I woulda," Owen agreed, slurring. "But, I didn't. An' now I'll always know I had a real shit reason for asking her. I shoulda done it properly. Not…like, as a…oh, hey, you're dyin' so…let's get married."

"You could have just left her, Owen. But you didn't. Most people tend to leave when things get difficult."

Owen looked up from his study of his pint foam and gave Ianto a hazy, measuring look. "S'right. Guess you'd know about that. You're the expert." They were entering Lisa Territory, which up until now was uncharted. And if Owen noticed any resistance coming from Ianto about broaching the subject, he ignored it. "You're a crazy bastard for doing it, Ianto. I mean…seriously, Get You Sectioned Insane. But when you think about her, least you can still look in the mirror an' not hate y'self."

Actually, that was far from the truth, but Ianto got the sentiment anyway and sort of appreciated it. At least enough to sit through Owen's increasingly drunk suggestions that Torchwood needed to set up a Losing Your Loved Ones to Aliens Support Group. And enough to take the effort to stuff Owen into a cab.

The next morning, the doctor sooner wanted to just forget the night before. Especially the bit about Katie. Not even Tosh knew about Katie and it felt strange that apart from Jack, the only person to know about her now was the person Owen felt he could barely tolerate on a daily basis. So Owen did what he did second best, which was to resolutely ignore certain parts of reality. Such practice of denial had worked brilliantly during the period of time after Ianto had shot him and the both of them had been too stoic to actually talk about it. So as far as he was concerned, he'd never gone to a pub with Ianto. And he most certainly hadn't said anything about Katie.

And then two weeks later Owen died. And then came back. And changed his mind.

* * *

"Owen, if you change the radio one more time, I'm going to throw you out of the car without braking."

"Christ, what's gone up your arse? Other than Harkness'-"

"Owen!"

"What? Can I help it if you've got crap taste in music?"

Ianto sighed and silently reminded himself whatever punishment he could imagine up for Owen, it probably wouldn't trump the fact that Owen was already cursed to be the walking dead. He repeated that to himself once more after Owen changed the radio station three more times in quick succession. It felt like London might as well as be on the other side of the world.

"We wouldn't be having this problem if you'd let me drive," Owen said.

"I know misery loves company, but I'm not about to join you in the land of the dead just yet, thanks."

"Oi, I'm not miserable. Just bitter. There's a difference."

"You mean between the way you were before and now or between the terms miserable and bitter?"

"Fucking hardy har fuck har."

Despite the arguments, with each meter driven, Owen was feeling a lot better about his decision. They say that a near death experience changes a man. Makes him re-evaluate his life and his priorities. Owen hadn't had a near death experience so much so as a complete death one. And maybe it didn't push him to re-evaluate his life, but it left him with an urge to see Katie. Not actually _see_ Katie since in reality her body wasn't buried in London. Not to even bring her flowers or anything like that.

He just wanted to see her grave, because after the last several days, it meant something. Because he'd died and realized that there really wasn't going to be a reunion. Ever. There was only darkness at the end of it all and this life and his memories were it. So he wanted to be near the headstone that had been set up for her as a memorial for who she had been and how Owen wanted to remember her. Back when she'd been alive and in love with him. Back before that surgery. Back before he'd believed in aliens. Back before Torchwood. Especially before Torchwood. If at all possible, he wanted to keep Katie as far away from Torchwood in his mind as possible, even as her body was in their morgue.

It hadn't been exactly simple to get Jack to give both him and Ianto a half day to make the trip. In actuality, Owen could have gone alone, but…well…

He might not like Ianto. At least not in a easy, smooth-going sort of way. He was pretty sure the Welshman returned the sentiment. But Owen knew Ianto got what today was about. He wouldn't have to explain it to him and he wouldn't have to endure any hushed sympathy from Tosh or forced cheeriness from Gwen. Or just dead silence if he'd been alone. No, Ianto would be more than obliging to hassle Owen every lousy inch of the drive toward the cemetery.

And Owen would be returning the favor when they switched over to drive to the other, equally fake cemetery plot for Lisa.

THE END


End file.
